That is terrible! [img]graemlins/broken_heart.gif[/img] And tottaly UNFAIR!! The little sis sounds like a brat. [img]graemlins/grrr.gif[/img]
She did, she went to the bathroom and cried. I sat there with her until she said she was ready to go back. I felt sooooo bad for her. I'm surprised no one heard her though.... [img]graemlins/cry.gif[/img]
That is terrible! [img]graemlins/broken_heart.gif[/img] And tottaly UNFAIR!! The little sis sounds like a brat. [img]graemlins/grrr.gif[/img]
I would be upset too. It's sad when you're not in a position to get involved, but some parents just don't listen.
One year my m-i-l went through a great speech with my kids about how she spent EXACTLY the same amount on each of the grandkids. DS has seen the catalogs. He knows that the sugarplum set for girl & doll was about double the cost of what he got. What hurt the most was that she lied about the cost being equal. The other grandkids had piles of stuff to open and my kids just sat and watched their cousins open at least a dozen more packages--there was no way that those piles cost less than what my kids got. My m-i-l even had my niece trying on the coat that she just gave to my daughter. Does that make any sense? Then later my b-i-l said his daughter was mad that our daughter got the coat because his daughter wanted it so badly. He thought it was cruel to his daughter that she was told to try on the gift that she wanted & didn't get. I thought it was cruel to my daughter that she couldn't even try on her own gift first. The worst part is that I didn't feel I could/should fix it. Should I have gone out and purchased more toys for my son because his grandparents jipped him? I still thought he had a nice gift, but the EXACTLY equal statements were what had his blood boiling. Luckily, there's enough cartoons to reinforce the idea that grown-ups are stupid and don't know what they're doing. The next year, DD got Samantha and he got a train car. In our case, I could explain to DS that he was the only grandchild for 2 years and even if he didn't remember, he was pretty spoiled. Over time, they have probably spent the same amount and he can accept that.
I think that if your friend's parents were going to break the rules that they should have at least warned your friend instead of hurting her feelings at a big party. It's hard to be happy for your sister when you see how unfair it is. Unfortunately, your friend probably feels like she can't say anything to her parents because that would be "selfish."
I am SO glad I am an only child.
My grandparents always gave my cousins more, better gifts than they gave me. Supposedly the reasoning was that my father could afford to buy me more things. Ironically, my uncle has always made more money than my dad. It's totally unfair, but I think it has always hurt my mother more than it hurt me. She got to the point where she just donated all of their gifts to local charities. When Grandma was dying, those crazy brats (now adults) were fighting for all the furniture, appliances, etc. I never said a word, so she asked me what I wanted. They thought I was a fool because the only thing I wanted were the family photos. Now, their appliances have broken down and the furniture has been replaced, but I still have my photos - and they are all trying to figure out what happened to the photos(he he). I just keep my mouth shut [img]graemlins/shhh.gif[/img]
Parents and Grandparents are humans and are just under as many biases and favorites and prejdices as any one else. Which is a shame.
Michigan Mom, I feel sorry for your son..
Smart going Ballet Mom...you have the family photos, whcih can't have a financel amount put on them... Clever! That is revenge. Getting what will mean the most when everyone is older!
Michigan Mom thats exactly what my friend said. She doesn't want to sound "selfish". you know now that I think about it her parents are always wierd like this. Never explaining anything! [img]mad.gif[/img] [img]confused.gif[/img]
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">If I were her, I would diplomatically ask for more AG stuff for Christmas, something along the lines of ...Originally posted by llama_dreamdancer_5:
Michigan Mom thats exactly what my friend said. She doesn't want to sound "selfish". you know now that I think about it her parents are always wierd like this. Never explaining anything! [img]mad.gif[/img] [img]confused.gif[/img]
Hey mom, I noticed that you splurged a little on Sissy for her birthday. I think it's great that she's starting her AG collection. I would love something similar for christmas such as _______ so that we can enjoy our dolls together. You know AG has a code for 10% off.
Thanks for the idea balletmom! I will defintly tell her what you said. Great way to approach such a subject. Thanks! [img]biggrin.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img]
bump [img]redface.gif[/img]
Well, I'll tell ya'll, I lived through this same kind of thing for years with my grandmother. She'd spend $50 on all the grandchildren except me, on whom she spent $10. It all had to do with disagreements with my mother from her childhood. One year it changed, and I got a gift from her I truly loved, and from then on, it kept going. She told me later that she had always felt that I didn't need her love as much as her other grandkids did. She said she realized how unfair it was, and that she felt guilty about it. We got a little closer, then drifted back apart. She was just incapable of being happy or letting others be happy. Until about three years later when she had a life-threatening stroke. That stroke was a blessing in disguise. Her whole outlook on life changed. She let go of all her bitterness and guilt, and became a genuinely joyful, happy person. She lived two years like that before she died about a year and a half ago, and she and I became inseperable for that time. The only thing I ever wished was that she could have spent her whole life like that. Now, I know you're wondering what this has to do with your friend. You should make sure that even though she's sad and hurt, she shouldn't let it pull her away from her family. They love her, even if they're being unfair. Also let her know that maybe her parents were trying to make her sister feel loved so that she would be better behaved. In that way, the fact that she got less shows her just how much her family values her good behavior and kindness. I know it's not much, but sometimes things are unfair, but it doesn't mean they love her or care about her any less. It also sounds like her sister won't take care of Lissie, and maybe, the next time she leaves her on the floor or treats her badly, she can tell her parents that she hopes they'll tell her how special Lissie is and that it's important to take good care of her. I know I've rambled like crazy, but I hope I helped a little.
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